Funny Photos


   #1 Destinations
   Celebrities
   Cute Baby Pics
   Funny T-Shirts
   Hum Tum Gallery
   Laugh Bytes
   Lover's Desk
   Miscelaneous
   Online Games
   The Perfect Guy
   Women


Search Funny Photos
Title :


 

 
 
Home > Jokes > English Jokes > Tips to improve your writing

Vote For This Joke
Rated: 6.00/10 | Votes: 8 | Views: 1643 |Submitted: 09/25/2003


1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren't necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don't never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.


Print This Page




 
 

Text Jokes

   Accounting Jokes
   Animal Jokes
   Aviation Jokes
   Bar Jokes
   Blind Jokes
   Blondes Jokes
   Business Jokes
   Celebrity Jokes
   Children Jokes
   Christmas Jokes
   Computer Jokes
   Crazy Jokes
   Deep Thoughts
   Dictionary Jokes
   Dirty Jokes
   Dumb Jokes
   Economist Jokes
   Education Jokes
   Email Jokes
   English Jokes
   Ethnic Jokes
   Female Jokes
   Food Jokes
   Gender Jokes
   Golf Jokes
   Holidays Jokes
   Idiots Jokes
   Indian Jokes
   Insult Jokes
   Kids Jokes
   Lawyers Jokes
   Lists Jokes
   Location Jokes
   Love Jokes
   Male Jokes
   Math Jokes
   Medical Jokes
   Military Jokes
   Misc Jokes
   Old Age Jokes
   One Liner Jokes
   Police Jokes
   Political Jokes
   RedNeck Jokes
   Relationship
   Religious Jokes
   Sex Jokes
   Short Jokes
   SMS Jokes
   Sports Jokes
   ThanksGiving
   True Stories
   Weird Jokes
   Woman Jokes
   Work place Jokes
   X Rated Jokes
   Beauty Tips
   Email Gems
   Kisses
   Love
   Love Poems
   Love Quotes
   Love Recipies
   Wedding Tips


Search Text Jokes
Title :
Joke:




Resources

Joke Books


Copyright © 2004 SomeJokes Networks. All rights reserved.

Hosted by Pull Host

Thudded.com

Search our site easily with the Thudded Toolbar