MONDAY:
BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste
while brushing your teeth
LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little
hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also
order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on
the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox
DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner,
don't eat the coleslaw.
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TUESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw
LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in
and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing
it whole to prevent nausea.
DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.
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WEDNESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's
LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke
DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps
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THURSDAY:
BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza
LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for
leftovers.
DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask
the bartender for olives.
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FRIDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the
Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for
you.
LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder
DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the
asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
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SATURDAY:
BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.
LUNCH - Ditto
DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat
the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
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SUNDAY:
BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.
DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting
your old room.
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