An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
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Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
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Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
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Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
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Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
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Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
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Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
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Q: What do economists and computers have in common?
A: You need to punch information into both of them.
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Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
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Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?
A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.
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NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
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Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.
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Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates?
A: Deflator mouse
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Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
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Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
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Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.
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Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
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Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.
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Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - the market has already discounted the change.
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Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.
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Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.
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When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation.
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Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.
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Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven plus or minus ten.
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Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.
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Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?
A: The economist is the one with the calculator.
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Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?
A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground
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Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark.
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Q: Why did God create economists?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
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Q: What does an economist do?
A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.
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Two economists meet on the street.
One inquires, "How's your wife?"
The other responds, "Relative to what?"
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To an economist, real life is a special case.
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Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.
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Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions.
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When an economist says the evidence is "mixed," he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.
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Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion."
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Q: Why has astrology been invented?
A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
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