Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigerette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1 What's that?
Lady 2 A condom.
Lady 1 Where'd you get it?
Lady 2 You can get them at any Chemist.
The next day lady 1 hobbles into the local chemist and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a packet of condoms. The pharmacist looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, in her 80's), but politely asks what brand she perfers. Doesn't matter, she replies , as long as it fits a Camel.
The pharmacist fainted.
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